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Jun. 1st, 2009

poneh- Faithleap

More product info...including FOOOOODZ.

First, I updated this filtre ("grooming tips and tricks") and pulled some of the more blatantly off-topic posts. :P

Second...oatmeal shampoos are love. Summer and winter are bad for dry skin, we see it a lot in the salon...and doggie "dandruff" is just vile. Oatmeal shampoos and something like a natural wheat-grass conditioner or remoisteurizer is ideal.

I absolutely adore these wheatgrass products: http://www.tailwaggerspets.com/p1104/tails-wheatgrass-shampoo-conditioner/product_info.html

But I love their conditioning stuff the most.

Sadly a lot of the coolest shampoos are tough on a dog's skin. My favourite is the blueing shampoo, followed by purpleing (which we don't have in the salon, though I keep a bottle of it here at home for Cricket). However, they can be a little harsh on a dog. Oatmeal shampoos are generally easier on them, very soothing to the skin.

Now, the trouble is that shampoos and conditioners aren't the whole story. A dog's coat isn't just window-dressing, it can be an indicator of the WHOLE BEING. People always look at me funny when they complain about their dog's dry skin, the shedding, and lack of lustre, and I turn around and ask what they feed their dog.

For the best coat possible, you need to not only wash with appropriate product, but feed the right foods. Dog food that contains a lot of fillers is worthless. No, really...read the labels. Excessive ammounts of corn (I won't buy food with corn in it, PERIOD, and I never reccomend it) or food that contains glutens or gluten meal? Is not ideal food for your pet and will negatively affect their overall wellness...including their coat quality.

I personally am a huge fan of Nutro's Natural Choice line and Nutro's Ultra line, and Blue Buffalo's foods are amazing. I personally feed Blue to Cricket, and the Nutro Natural Choice for cats to our feline family. :)

Now, to be fair, good food isn't cheap. That is the part that people often seem to hate, they want their dog to look awesome and feel good but they don't want to buy the foods the dog needs to make it happen. Kathy and I spent a while talking to a gentleman with a Sheltie who looked like a train wreck, telling him about how the dog's poor nutrition is adversely affecting it's health and thus it's coat looks like absolute shit...flakey, dull, and rather vile.

Five minutes later we see him go through the checkout line, with a big ol' 40 lb bag of goddamn GOODLIFE SHIT in his cart. I loathe that fucking crapass food...it sucks SO HARD! Foods like Goodlife and Ol' Roy make me want to vomit just THINKING about them. PARTICULARLY Ol' Roy. *shudders*

For the best coat possible, feed a good-quality, meat-oriented food (preferrably kibble unless your dog actually NEEDS to eat soft food) with no fillers, no gluten or gluten meal, and certainly no corn...I have found that I can get away with washing a dog with blueing shampoo and then rewashing with oatmeal shampoo to get the brightness from the blueing without aggravating the dog's skin...and then liberally apply wheatgrass conditioner. I like to leave the conditioner on the dog for at least five minutes, to let it "soak in," the results are amazing. Some Unicoat before applying the dryer...hand-drying to perfection and then a quick misting with a scented finishing spray, and I swear the dog will look better than can be imagined.

Seriously.

May. 4th, 2009

poneh- Bows are fun!

Some photos of some dogs I groomed yesterday.

I brought the camera with me to work yesterday, and lo, I had a few of my request dogs in. Yay! I snapped pictures to share. :) Be sure to read captions as well as these descriptions, LOL!

First, Mr. Magoo. XD He's seriously NUTS, yo. He's completely insane but ultra-sweet and he LOVES his bath...screams and flails like a Northern-breed should, but it's more screaming fits of joy than horror. X3 He's an unusual mix...Malamute mixed with ENGLISH MASTIFF. He's huge, got a very Mastiffy-type coat, but otherwise looks more like a Mal. For those familiar with the cartoon Mr. Magoo, it's easy to see how he got his name!
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0002ftqe/g15

Next was Monroe, a Whippet mix. He's awesome, and so're his owners. He's got some serious issues (REAL issues, that is) and his owners have really done wonders to improve his quality of life...he's much more confident and able to relax better now...before he was just a ball of terror. :) His mother was a Whippet, and the other half could be some kind of terrier, Lab, or possibly Pit or Amstaffie. I'm leaning towards Pit due to both his incredibly tolerant nature and his head structure.
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0002ec1s/g15

I also had Maximus and Mattie in yesterday...two of my many Dane requests. :) I love working on Great Danes so I end up doing most of 'em that come in, LOL. Of ALL my Danes, Maximus is (appropriately named, too!) by far the biggest. :) He's HYOOGE. Over 220 pounds and he's STILL GROWING, HE'S STILL A PUPPY. I'm curious to see how big he can actually GET!!!
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0002brzx/g15

Since Max is such a big chicken and wouldn't hold his head up, I handed the camera off to a co-worker (the same one who is pictured below with the Pom of Evil) and held his head up for him. :P Notice that his shoulder height is well above my damn BELT BUCKLE. He's REALLY BIG!!!
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0002c9hc/g15

This one isn't a dog I worked on...it was a groomer's dog...but so cute I had to take a picture. I made a little "PRRRT" sound and she cocked her head to the side so adorably...I snapped the picture...and then this little eight-week-old Pommeranian whipped around and BIT THE GROOMER WHO WAS STANDING BEHIND HER. Talk about "cute but evil!" We hope she outgrows her little...evil evil temperament, lol.
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0002d3bh/g15

May. 2nd, 2009

mule- wtf? ...no.

If you can't say something NICE, then please kindly STFU.

I ask only that people THINK before opening their big fat ugly mouths. SERIOUSLY.

The first time I took Cricket on a walk in the store (as it was a little cold out for a puppy weighing under two pounds to be outside at the time) someone pointed and said "Hey, there's RATS bigger than that dog!" I thought it was kindof funny, and true enough we later held Cricket up to a rat and lo, the rat was bigger.

Now, the "rat" comment was funny...THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT. Less so the second time.

I hear it EVERY BLOODY TIME I TAKE HER ANYWHERE, it seems. "Look, it's a tame RAT on a leash!" "I've seen RATS bigger than your dog!" "Is that a dog or a RAT?" "It's so small you can't even call it a dog, looks more like a RAT to me!"

I GET IT, my dog is tiny.

Folks, it isn't original or funny. I did not aquire my dog just for your amusement.

Likewise, whenever the Great Dane triplets arrive, people always pop off crap like "I bet you could slap a saddle on him and RIDE HIM he's as BIG AS A HORSE." "Is that a dog or a PONY on a leash?" "Are those dogs or the BUDWEISER CLYDESDALES?" Yeah, we get it, they're huge. e.e Or my personal favourite: "With dogs that size, who's walking WHO?" To which I always have to grit my teeth to avoid replying with "Considering that they're all obediently walking loose-leash in various at-heel positions WHO DO YOU FUCKING THINK is walking who?!"

My roommate's dog draws similar annoying and rude comments, being a Pekingese: "Oh, hey, you could use him to mop the floor!"

And of course anyone with Sighthounds who aren't obese or dogs with extreme "tuckup" (like most Pointing breeds for example) almost always get nasty comments like "Do you ever FEED that thing???" As Sighthoundlady pointed out, some folk look at Sighthounds (and other unusual or uniquely shaped breeds) and call them "freakish."

WHAT THE FUCK.

Like Thumper's daddy said, if you can't say something nice, STFU. Folks, making smartass, rude and oft insulting statements or idiot-questions about a dog isn't clever or funny. You aren't impressing the person who's dog you just joked about, you are probably irritating and offending them. It isn't witty or original, it is REHASHED AND OBNOXIOUS and not at all appreciated.

Instead of commenting rudely about how there are RATS bigger than my dog, maybe say something like "wow, that dog is really tiny! Is she an adult or will she get any bigger?" There's a good conversation opener, which might involve me offering to let the person pet or hold the tinydog being discussed. Instead of making jokes about saddling the Danes, people could comment on how striking the three of them are. After all, three massive Danes command a lot of attention, and they are all VERY stunningly marked animals. Instead of suggesting my roomie use her beloved pet as a floor-cleaning tool, maybe as about the coat care or something. Don't call dogs "freaky" or suggest they are some kind of freakshow oddity.

And please, don't ever ask if someone feeds their dog or not. Some breeds are skinny by nature and it can be really insulting and offensive to someone who keeps their dog fit and in perfect condition to have people tell them their FIT, HEALTHY, WELL-FED dog looks like it just walked out of a concentration camp. e.e

Think before speaking, thanks. ;)

May. 1st, 2009

poneh- Bows are fun!

Oh duh.

I made an entire "scrapbook gallery" for photos of dogs I've worked on in the salon. No, I won't post EVERY. SINGLE. DOG. or anything, just some of my favourites or some that I'm particularly proud of.

Gallery is here: http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/gallery/0000ftgr
poneh- Bows are fun!

Photoplosion!!!

Okay, time for a massive dose of PICTURES. :D Be sure to read all the little image descriptions!!!

First...the moment you've all been waiting for (or not, whatever)...CRICKET!!!
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000g640/g14
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000h4t9/g14
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000kybs/g14
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000p8wy/g14
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000q1kg/g14
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000rcr7/g14
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000sz32/g14

Next, some fun ones of Cricket and Yvaine playing. :) I swear, they are such a pair...so funny to watch them play-fight! Sometime soon I'm gonna have to figure out how to upload videos, because they are HILARIOUS.
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/00005kb4/g8
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/00006dtr/g8
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/00007ked/g8
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/00008892/g8

Now for some serious "awww" moments. ;) Percy and Yvaine posing pretty, Percy and Shadow snuggled up together, and some pictures of Percy cuddling with Cricket and even GROOMING HER LIKE A KITTEN! :D
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/00009wyq/g11
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000ay25/g11
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000b6er/g11
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000cp79/g11
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000dy49/g11
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000eh1y/g11
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000fq5z/g11

Lastly, Asher and Tulsa, the Shelties I groomed today. :) SO PRETTY, especially perfect-boy Asher.
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000xwdy/g15
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000yefz/g15
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000z3sc/g15
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000t3f0/g15
http://pics.livejournal.com/rantingmule/pic/0000wyhs/g15

For all photos of pets in our home...apologies, we're kindof a mess right now, haven't finished our spring cleaning and whatnot. :P

Apr. 28th, 2009

mule- Sit back and relax

Home-brewed naming "short list"

These are names I like, and am considering choosing for the "house name" of my home-brewed stuff. :)

BTW, if anyone wants in on my offer over at FA (art in exchange for naming my stuff) feel free to throw names at me. ;)

THE LIST (I will update this as it evolves):

- Katzenbräu (German, "Cats' Brew," suggested by Balorkin.)
- Muninn's Bane (alternately, "Muninnbane," suggested by Farorenightclaw.)
- Paws and Whiskers (Suggested by Mr. Roper. ...actually, this gave me the idea for "Paws & Reflect" which I rather like, but Mr. Roper gets credit for putting the idea in my head.)
- Courage (Suggested by Darkhorse. I would definitely slap one of Odin's less-well-known names or titles in front of it, but the idea is coolness.)

Yes, currently a VERY short list indeed. :B

...if I were a Christian I would totally be naming it "Purrly Gates", LOL!
Tags:

Dec. 28th, 2008

poneh- cooooool.

Raven is MINE now....and some actual grooming product information, woooo!

Today I did the impossible...I got Raven't mom to request me from now on. >:3

Raven is the best Pit Bull IN THE HISTORY OF THE BREED FOR REALZ. She's super sweet, has these HUGE cow-like brown eyes, and is the prettiest Pit ever and has the BEST temperament. No dog-agression either, which is awesome. She does anything you tell her...say "Raven, stand up please" and she stands...ask her to get into a kennel and she hops right in, et cetera.

It doesn't hurt that she's also black and white, and thus about the easiest dog ON THE FUCKING PLANET to make look good. Some whitening shampoo to make the white parts really bright and to give the black parts some SUPER-shiny-ness...oh yeah. Lovin' it. "Whitening" shampoo doesn't really WHITEN so much as BRIGHTEN...it makes smooth-coated black dogs look like they're almost metallic.

Ergo, getting to work on Raven is like winning the lottery. She's a dream to work on, and easy as hell.

I also have discovered a nice new product: UNICOAT. Oh my god this shit is SWEET. It smells godly; this is why I used it for the first time last night. Stella, my newest regular, is a Basset who is in at least once a month because, while her parents love Bassets, they do NOT love the particular smell (I would liken it to slightly rancid corn chips) that goes along with owning a loose-skinned hound breed.

Fun fact: the world is full of bacteria. Hounds with loose skin and short, dense or flat coats tend to reek of stale or rancid corn chips, due to bacteria (which likes warm, damp places to multiply like wow) in their skinfolds and drool. It really isn't an objectionable stench to me...I mean it doesn't smell GREAT but I personally don't find it god-awful. Stella's mom DOES, though, so she comes in a LOT so her lovely if pudgy hound smells nice. :)

I am, thus, forever trying to find something to make her smell excellent.

One of the groomers put a bottle of Unicoat into the bather drawers when the sprayer snapped off. We bathers get all the hand-me-down shit. :P I took a whiff and found the smell AWESOME. I was still drying Stella at the time, and so I poured a wee bit of Unicoat onto my hands and ran them down her back and sides, then finished drying her as per the norm.

OH MY GOD THE DIFFERENCE THAT STUFF MAKES. It is AWESOME. She glistened and smelled EXCELLENT and looked like the best bathed dog evar. She kindof felt soft if a little buttery, though. Still, her mom was elated at how nice she smelled and how good she looked, and she took down my name so I will get to work on Stella from now on.

Thusly impressed, I pirated an empty bottle of cologne and (after some major rinsing) filled it with the cast-off Unicoat. XD That shit is AMAZING. I even checked our store's grooming products on my lunchbreak...had we had any left in stock I would have bought some, THAT IS HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. Seriously. And a little goes a LOOOOOOONG way!!!

I used it again today...on Raven of course (it made her actually SPARKLE, I shit you not!) and on a pair of Chihuahuas who's mom is a constant complainer. The Chis looked amazing and the lady seemed super-happy.

I do think Unicoat would be pretty goddamn useless on anything wirehaired, such as a terrier. But other'n that, it rocks my world. I almost want to smuggle Cricket into the salon tomorrow to try it on her!!!

Unicoat: TOTALLY WORTH IT TO OWN IT, if you bathe/groom your own dog(s). I've found already that it looks best if applied when the dog is still slightly wet...and that way they don't feel like they've been buttered once they're dry. ;)

In other news...These "quick-finder" nail trimmers SUCK THE HARD SUCK. They FAIL. No really. If I had a dime for every customer who has complained about this product I would...well...have enough money for a can of Diet Coke and a baggie of chips from our vending machines. BUT STILL. Everyone we know of who has bought one has HATED THE GODDAMN THING and, ironically, has reported an increase in quicking their dog or dogs. :P

It fails, bad.

Dec. 24th, 2008

mule- Cup o love

Pedi-Paws! 8D They FUCKING SUCK!!!!

Fact: grinding down a dog's nails is better than trimming. The grinding tool gets them shorter, and more blunt than the trimmers. It is also a hell of a lot harder to quick a dog once you get the hang of it, making it safer, too.

Knowing this, several companies are now marketing grinding tools specifically designed for dog nails. The one I see most often on TV is the Pedi-Paws tool. I've also seen commercials on TV for the "Peticure" tool.

Both suck big hairy moose dink. NO SRSLY.

They are cordless, and the batteries run out very quickly. The tool is low-powered and thus if your dog's nails have any real growth to take off, IT WON'T. If your dog's nails are thick or tough, the tool is so weak the rotating grinder part WON'T TURN. The whole thing is, well...useless!!!

The IDEA is right...the tool, not so much. Plus it's fucking expensive!

Here's the thing...those nail grinding tools for dogs? Are crap-ass Dremel tools with an idiotic "nail guard" glued on. The "nail guard" makes it difficult to see wtf you are doing, and thus you are more likely to quick the dog with the tool than you would be if it didn't have the fucking guard on.

Your best bet for proper nail care is to go to your local hardware store and invest in a Dremel tool. Any rough sandpaper tip thing will work for your dog's nails. The Dremel I use (which is my dad's as I'm poor, lol!) plugs into a wall-outlet...the commercially available nail tools are cordless on the theory the dog will bite the cord and electrocute itself. I've never had a dog go for the cord before, but if you are concerned about it, there are very nice Dremels that are cordless. Just make sure it has plenty of juice. ;)

The next time I do Cricket's nails, I'll take some pictures to show y'all how to Dremel a dog's nails. Maybe I'll take pictures of Stosh in-progress as his nails are HYOOOOGE. Hmmm.

Anyways...the fun part about getting a Dremel instead of a Pedi-Paws thingy is that the Dremel has multiple uses...my dad ground out some of the old grouting in the kitchen with it the same day I used it on his dog's nails, which was also the same day it saw use as a buffing tool. XD

Most dogs that are rotten for nail trimming ARE better for the grinder/Dremel. It doesn't pinch, and while the noise is a little obnoxious, dogs don't generally associate the whirring sound with OMGNAILS, whereas the click of the nail trimmers can send them into screaming fits. :P

What I love most about using a Dremel on a dog's nails is the fact that, over time and with proper use, you can chase the quick back further and further, meaning the nails can be kept shorter and shorter. :D Its awesome!!!

Now...one last thing. On some commercials for these nail grinder tools, they show people using them on cats. OMG WTF NO. We won't do it in the salon, too risky!!! Besides, cat nails are vastly different than dog nails...unless a cat's nails are horrendously misshapen, they have a clear difference between the living quick and dead overgrowth, and clipping off the overgrowth never did any harm. I'm bad about cat nails, I hate doing it and let it go too long, and then I get anxious and snip 'em off with, say, MY nail trimmers. XP That's about as bad as you can get...but still better than the fucking grinder! Cats do better with trimming, honestly. The grinder is better for dogs only.

MmmmmDREMEL. <3!!!

Dec. 22nd, 2008

mule- wtf? ...no.

Yes, I make broad generalizations!!! (alternate title: I love Holly, breed notwithstanding.)

Crossposted from FA. Because I'm Ranty McRant today.

A dog's breed can tell you a lot about their behaviour. There ARE certain breed traits that come through, and as such broad generalizations CAN be made. Of course there are exceptions, there are ALWAYS exceptions. On the whole, though, these stereotypes and generalizations are pretty true.

IN ORDER OF THE AKC BREED GROUPINGS:

SPORTING: Okay, there's three generalizations I will make.

Spaniels. The whole range of 'em. Most are okay...American Cockers tend to piss all over constantly but on the whole most handle being groomed with good cheer if not grace or poise. XD They DO tend to be a little spaztic, though.

Retrievers...lord they tend to be fucking dumb. I loved Goldens...until I had to professionally groom them. STUPID, STUPID DOGS. Goldens are renowned for NOT STANDING THE HELL UP. They will literally spend the whole groom either on their goddamn ass or DEAD LIMP, unless you physically hold them up. One of our groomers does a hilarious "Golden on a grooming table" impression...I laughed so hard I nearly cried. Most retrievers on a grooming table lunge around and try to hang themselves at EVERY opportunity, so much so that I usually forego the table and just work on them on the floor, where they are less likely to STRANGLE THEMSELVES. Labs are the worst of the worst, prone to biting and being just about the dumbest box of rocks on the planet. Very few dogs are so stupid they drink shampoo...all but two that I know who ARE stupid enough to drink that crap are, of course, LABS. I've seen Labs EAT CHUNKS OF POODLE HAIR OFF THE FLOOR. No, I shit you not, right off the floor! D8

Pointing breeds. Oh lord. I have such a love/hate relationship with these guys. I grew up with German Wirehairs, and both Wirehairs and Shorthairs are some of my favourite dogs. That said, I don't think I have it in me to own another one. I see a cute pointer puppy come in, and I get so excited to get to work with my beloved breed...and then they remind me why I don't keep 'em any more. :P They're not quite as brainless as retrieving breeds but they come close, and they are often far more jittery and skittish and INSANE.

HOUND: Again, more than one generalization.

Sighthounds are a joy to work with. They're not particularly bright, but they more than make up for it by being gentle, gentle dogs. They rarely love the dryer, but they also rarely pitch a fit about it. Getting to work on a sighthound is like winning the lottery, usually.

Scenthounds...I'm considered insane in the salon because I kindof like them. They tend to be REALLY, REALLY noisy...that is why I invest in earplugs. ;) Some of the more popular breeds can be a little snitty about being dried and they all seem to dislike their nails being done (Bassets especially!) but they aren't usually flagrant assholes about it either. Coonhounds are usually the nicest when it comes to bathing and nails.

"Miscellaneous" hounds are kindof all over the place, generalization-wise. That said, Norwegian Elkhounds are AWESOME to work on. They are so easy to make look good, and they're usually perfect for EVERYTHING. Wonderful dogs!

WORKING: Northern breed (spitz-type) dogs are jackasses for bathtime. Screaming is pretty common (they make some of the strangest noises!) but again, this is why I carry earplugs. Seriously, get them wet and they think you are trying to KILL THEM. We've agreed, in the salon, that they think they will melt if hosed down. Most are bitey for their nails and many are really horrible for brushing.

Most of the other working breeds are awesome to work on, though. Dobies, Rotties, mastiffs...they are some of my favourite breeds to work on. None has EVER bitten me for anything, ever. :)

TERRIERS: Oh god. XD These guys are totally all over the place. Some are totally horrible, some are amazingly good, and it literally varies from dog to dog. Generally the only hard-and-fast stereotypes that stick are these: Westies suck at tolerating a haircut*...Bedlingtons and Jack Russels are usually nasty biting fuckers...and Amstaffs are super-awesome, super-sweet and really good natured.

TOYS: *siiiigh* The problem with toys is that people who usually own toys don't train or socialize them, so most do in fact suck unless they've been groomed regularly from puppyhood on up, and even then some never get used to it. Yorkies tend to be hyper but decent...Poms can have a real attitude problem and can be bad biters if you let them get away with it...Chis can be REAL BRATS and don't let their size fool you, they bite like HELL...Cavaliers are totally awesome and perfect, if mat-prone...Pugs hate their nails being done...and MinPins are THE DEVIL. No seriously. They are some kind of evil antichrist-dog. I have several as requests and man, they bite like there's no tomorrow. I have only one "good" MinPin request, and to my dismay this last time she bit me when I was trimming her nails, which means that I now have never met a MinPin that did not bite. Sad. Shihs tend to be awesome, provided they are accustomed to being groomed.

NON-SPORTING: I love Chows. Just sayin'. ;) All but one of the Chows I know are amazing, perfect and dignified dogs...though I have been told that the further west you travel here in the US, the nastier they tend to be. Not sure if it's a bloodline issue, but still. Standard Poodles ROCK MY WORLD, as do Shibas and Tibetan Spaniels (though Shibas do tend to scream a lot, too. Earplugs, man, earplugs!!!). Bichons are a coin toss...they can be great or they can be total fucksticks. :P

HERDING: Smart doesn't always mean NICE. German Shepherds are pretty awesome, though the worst attack in the salon since I've been there was a GSD, attacking my manager. :P Tore her right open, too...and for what? Petting him. :P Most herding dogs are okay...a lot of Border Collies are snitty and most Corgis have issues with people touching their feet or trimming their nails. Rough and Smooth Collies can be kindof vocal, too.

Now, there are always stereotypes and there are always dogs who don't fit the stereotypes. I don't want to hear about your wonderful MinPin who rescued Little Timmy when he fell down a well and how it was the bestest best dog you EVAR had. That isn't the point of this.

In fact, I guess there is no point...I'm just killing time until my roomie gets home so I can set up the tree.

Huh. Guess I'll STFU now, eh? ;)

*-before anyone pitches a fit, yes I know they are supposed to have their hair stripped, not cut...but we do what the owner says to do, and 99.9% of owners say they want their hair cut, not stripped. :P

(SPECIAL BONUS RANT: Dogs I love.)

Now, just because a dog isn't one of my favourite breeds doesn't mean I can't think that dog is awesome. Some glaring exceptions to the rules are thus:

My request labs, Molly, Lucky and Abby. Yes, they have VERY, VERY generic names. XD All three fly in the face of my general anti-Lab sentiment, in the sense that all three are perfect and gentle and awesome and calm. I love those three because, hi, GOOD DOGS, yo. To be sure I'm no fan of their breed, but those three have manners and are good-natured and compliant with grooming.

Molly and Lucky are actually Lab mixes...Abby is a purebred. Perfect, sweet dogs.

Folk, when a dog comes into the salon, I treat them as if they were my own dog. I greet them warmly, ask their owners if they have any health or behaviour problems, and spend a few minutes trying to get to know the dog and trying to let the dog get to know me. I try to set the dog at ease, and the only way to do that is to remove all negative thinking.

Each dog, irregardless of breed, is an opportunity to buck the trend and be one of the rare "exceptions to the rule." Every Lab I get to work on that I've never worked on before, for example, is one such opportunity.

It isn't my fault that most dogs end up fitting nice and solidly into their breed's grooming-oriented stereotype.

Here's a fact: I've always thought Dobermans were handsome and thus I always kindof thought MinPins were cool as all hell. Imagine my shock and dismay when I had to wash my first DEMON-POSESSED MONSTER MinPin! I was disappointed, and bleeding. Mostly bleeding. Also burning through a lot of vulgar language once the dog was done.

Even now, I think they look cool as hell. They just SUCK, though.

My experiment with Tiny hasn't really helped. Tiny lives up to her name...she's a MinPin the size of your average Chihuahua. I gave her her very first bath at the tender age of eight weeks, and have worked on her regularly ever since. I decided, when they handed me that innocent little blob of black-and-tan for her first bath, that she would be DIFFERENT. I would take extra time and make sure she grows up to be a good, well-behaved-for-the-bath MinPin.

I spend ages working with her every time, too. I have done more training on this dog than her owners have.

And for all that, she's still a nasty little biting fucker. Nothing, it seems, can keep MinPins from turning evil.

Even my special GOOD MinPin, the nicest dog of her breed I've ever known, has now bitten me. Eli is her name, and she actually bit me for the first time last week. I was really upset about it...she was my one glaring example of MinPin perfection. Damn.

Does that mean I violently dislike MinPins? Sure, because every time I work with one, I get bit all to hell. Does that mean I don't love Eli and Tiny and my other MinPin requests? Hell no! Tiny is my baby-doll, I adore her! Eli is my good buddy, she's awesome! Just because they're NASTY doesn't mean I don't look foreward to their next groom even as I still bleed from the last one!

Likewise, Northern breeds. Spitz-type dogs. They suck, for bathing anyways. I have SEVERAL I do as request dogs. Ezra and Iliah, the Siberian Husky sisters...Taka the wooly Malamute...Mr. Magoo the husky mix...and a few others I'm forgetting (side note: I feel all kinds of awesome that I now have so many "special request" dogs that I can no longer remember each and every one. :P At the same time it makes me feel kindof sad...the other day someone said "Oh hey, Lydia is coming in tomorrow." I said "...who?" "Your Cavalier request." "You mean Lady?" "No, Lydia." I literally had NO CONSCIOUS MEMORY of the dog until I saw her. :P Felt pretty shitty that I'd forgotten that sweet bundle of Blenheim bliss!). Don't get me wrong, Mr. Magoo aside, all of my Northern-breed regulars are pretty horrible for the bath. Even Mr. Magoo screams and wails, though more with joy than distress (seriously, that dog REDEFINES the term OMG HAPPY). Taka, who is now one of my favourite dogs of all time, BITES LIKE WOW sometimes. :P

I still adore them. They can't help that they are Northern-breed dogs, and thus feel compelled to be screaming, flailing idiots. I simply enjoy their antics and wear earplugs. ;)

It rankles that some people assume that because I don't OMG LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE every single breed of dog, I'm a bad person or a bad bather/groomer or BOTH. What the fuck ever! I love DOGS, wouldn't have applied for a position in the salon if I didn't, goddamnit. Further, the implication that I must be cruel or abusive or otherwise mean to dogs of breeds I don't personally care for is ludicrous. If that were the case, then why does Taka (Malamute) give me a warm greeting and a good face-licking when I greet him? Why does Tiny (Miniature Pinscer) play-bow all over the grooming table with me? Why does Lucky (Lab mix) try to climb into my lap every time I sit down?

I think the posterchild for "follows own path" would have to be Holly the Jack Russel Terrier. Everyone but one person in the salon seems to dislike the breed...I personally can't stand them. But when Holly comes in, you'd think it was fucking Christmas! She's so happy, so sweet, so friendly, and SO WELL BEHAVED and perfect for EVERYTHING...I do all I can to "assist" whoever is working on Holly because, damnit, that dog is so wonderful and loveable.

Just because I GENERALLY DISLIKE JRTs doesn't mean I can't be madly in love with little Holly. Anyone who says or thinks otherwise is just fucking stupid.

Dec. 4th, 2008

mule- Happy joyfulness of YAY!

Ahhhh the sweet smell of kharma. XD

So the other day, Dawn (fellow bather) begged me to switch a shift with her, apparently one of her kids has some kind of school event she doesn't want to miss. Having virtually no social life, I readily agreed, and simply asked her to make note of it in the appointment book.

Today I get to work and discover that "associate appreciation days" are fast approaching...they're on the 9th and 10th, respectively. Both are days I'm supposed to have off, except of course I switched a shift with Dawn...ergo I work the 10th.

We all get a bunch of cards for %15 off anything in the store, grooming services included, and they're for friends and family to use. Well...damnit, I don't have much in the way of family any more and all of my friends either don't have pets or live far, far away (Freya excluded of course but I'll just be buying stuff for both our pets that day since I, as an actual employee, get a MUCH better discount) so, after clearing it with my manager, I called up some of my favourite dogs and offered their owners a "family/friend" card each.

On the 10th...I am almost SOLIDLY BOOKED...with nothing but the very BEST DOGS. This is SO COOL!!! 8D!!!! I always count myself lucky if I have just ONE of my special request dogs...to be booked with nothing BUT is just so fucking awesome!!! As of when I left, I had only one appointment slot open, which will hopefully fill with another request dog before long.

When Dawn arrived, just as I was about to leave, she started apologising for having to switch shifts with me, and I simply told her it's FREAKING AWESOME and I'm the one who should be grateful. XD!!!

Ahhhh, kharma. :D

Dec. 3rd, 2008

poneh- happy smiley!

Yearly wishlist...

I see this "meme" crop up every year. I do it too. Here's my yearly wishlist. XD Feel free to ignore it.

The List

instructions:

- Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
- Surf around your friendslist (or friend's friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


Step Three
Post your wishlist to your livejournal/blog! you never know, someone may be able to grant you a holiday wish!



My wishlist:

1. Art. X3 I'd love some pictures of my gallowspony, or of Zane or Njotr. I always love artses. XD

2. Pens...microns or micron knockoffs. I tend to go through these at the speed of light so they're always something I kinda need.

3. ...okay this will sound nuts, but...the fourth season of Jeeves and Wooster on DVD. Shuttup, I like the show. XD

4. Any season of any of the following shows on DVD: CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI:NY, NCIS. I love them all and I have none of them. :P

5. Seasons 2 through whatever exists of the show Bones on DVD. Yes, I'm DVD-oriented these days. :P

6. A Playstation 2. Haven't had one in ages, and I miss my games. :P

7. One'a those...like...poofy chair-pillows for like reading in bed and stuff, you know?

8. GOOD BOOZE. Some Baileys, Khalua, Crown Royal...something nice to put in my coffee or eggnog. XD

9. Barnes & Noble giftcards for any ammount are always appreciated, I love books. XD

10. This is gonna sound sad and pathetic...but money to buy nice gifts for family members would be awesome. XP

Address:
Message me here on LJ or on FA if you need my address. :P I doubt Freya would appreciate me slathering our home's location all over the internet. ;)

AND REMEMBER, I won't be offended if absolutely nobody gets me anything. I know a lot of folk on my friends list are struggling right now and times are kinda sucktastic. I won't take it personally so DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES feel obligated. :P Just an FYI.

Nov. 24th, 2008

poneh- champing at the bit

Pet Peeve #007-B

This is a strange continuation on #007. Hence not deserving it's own number.

Person A drops off their Bichon at the salon. Person GROOMER begins to groom the dog as per Person A's directions, following their instructions TO THE LETTER. Person JACKASS walks in, mid-groom, and says "THAT IS NOT HOW YOU CLIP A BICHON THAT IS AN INAPPROPRIATE CUT FOR THAT BREED I WILL NEVER BRING MY DOG IN HERE IF THAT IS HOW YOU GROOM YOUR DOGS!!!"

Uhhh. WHAT.

First off, unless we're talking about SHOWDOGS, there IS no "right" or "wrong" way to cut a dog. The Bichon-in-question's owner wanted the legs SHORTshort, so the dog wouldn't get snowballs in it's hair durring winter, and wanted the head to be "short and round" like a teddy-bear pet-cut, so they won't have to worry about the head matting or getting disgusting over the holidays. Yes, the dog looked fucking stupid. But guess what: that ISN'T OUR PROBLEM, nor is it anyone else's except that dog's actual OWNER.

I am getting bloody fucking sick of people griping about shit that isn't even remotely about them. Or their dogs. :P

Nov. 15th, 2008

poneh- despair

I'm cold and tired and want to sleeeeeep.

I've begun to find tedium and loathing in my job. I adore working with dogs, and have come to hate dealing with people. I feel like I have this horrible shame...people see my smock and the salon and ask "are you a groomer?" No, just a lowly bather. I feel so...looked down upon.

Shaaaame.

Plus Saturdays always suck anyways...right now we're booking out for bathers and there's a few groomers who take extra dogs on the assumption we bathers will do most of the work for them...but due to being BOOKED OUT all the time, we CAN'T really assist the groomers, we have to work on...hmmm, OUR OWN DOGS???? Plus the new rule that if a de-shedding package gets booked with a bather, that unlucky bather has to do the de-shedding package...which takes more time than we are actually allowed to take on a dog.

GYARG. Not happy.

Nov. 10th, 2008

mule- Happy joyfulness of YAY!

A very good feeling.

The past week has been painful, literally. My gut hurt me so badly today it brought me nearly to my knees...I ended up crouched beside my car, shaking, and trying not to let the pain disorient me. I was certain today at work would be hell.

When I got there, I saw a familiar dog on my appointment list...Sissy, the Dachshund. For those of you who are just now hearing of her, I've ranted about her before: here.

Recently when I called to see why she hadn't been in the salon for a while, her owners told me she nearly died, and that she's too sick to come into the salon. Shock of shocks, the dog was literally dying of obesity. They promised to bring her in just as soon as she gets the green light from the vet.

Today...was the day her vet said "okay, she can handle being groomed."

I wondered...what would be look like? How would she act? I didn't have long to wait. We can see the whole parking lot from our window...and someone said "Oh my god, is that SISSY? She can WALK now?!?" I ran over, and looked...and felt suddenly wonderful despite the gut-pain.

"No," I said, almost with pride, "She can RUN."

Indeed, there she was, still grossly overweight but nowhere near as bad as before, bounding happily across the parking lot, nearly dragging her owner with her. She leapt...LEAPT up the curb and trotted inside. Her paws don't look like diseased mushrooms any more, and her claws don't grow directly into the fat-laden pads. No longer is her body covered in sores from being unable to move. Her belly is scarred but clean of all scuffs from being dragged. She's so happy and so much more healthy...she literally looked like a whole new dog.

I can't stress it enough...she's HAPPY. She capers around and never did any wheezing. She actually has to kindof squat to pee, and no more peeing all over herself! She's such a happy, friendly, sweet little dog!

I just could NOT stop smiling. Sissy is lucky...her parents (...owners, whatever) really do love her to bits, and now that they know what is and is NOT good for her, they've actually stepped up and taken charge to make her healthy and happy.

Maybe there's hope for humanity after all.

Nov. 6th, 2008

poneh- happy smiley!

Pit Bulls and Papillons.

Some days, I arrive in the salon and feel this intense desire to burn the building to the fucking ground. I get bit, shat on, and am miserable.

Then there are days like today, when the universe...apparently recognising my rapidly reaching a breaking point, offers me a refrain from the normal horrors of salon life.

I arrived today and found that I had no dogs for several hours. I spent the morning cleaning up the bather drawers...re-organizing my tools, discovering the location of the missing nail trimmers, and basically taking it easy. I had ONE nail trim walk-in, a Golden named Jasmine. I hate doing nail trims, but since I had nothing else better to do, I took my time. It helped that Jasmine is a wonderful, sweet, well-behaved dog, and her owner is awesomely nice. We made nice conversation while I trimmed up the hair around her feet...found a mat in between one of her paw pads and shaved it out, and basically spent a few minutes playing with the dog. Her owner was so pleased she tipped heavily and asked if it would be okay if, next time, she calls ahead to make sure I'm working when she wants to come in. HOT DAMN, hellyeah! I like being tipped heavily for working on a sweet-natured and well-behaved dog! XD

Got bored, wandered off into the store for a while...found all the halloween stuff on EXTREME clearance. Bought like $50-worth of stuff (some of it very badly needed, such as a set of "soft paws" nailcaps for Yvaine) for $15. 8D!!! SCHWEEET.

Back in the salon, my first dog arrived...LEXUS THE PAPILLON!!! I haven't seen Lexus in MONTHS, they keep booking with other bathers. Turns out they were busy and simply couldn't get in on days I worked, so they had to go with others, but apparently now that they aren't busy any more he'll be my super-special request dog again!!! The reason: he's bad for everyone except me. He doesn't like to have his feet touched and he doesn't like being brushed...when he gets pissy about his feet I snap at him very firmly: "YOU AREN'T A BAD DOG, stop faking it." He calms down and lets me trim his feet so nicely...when it comes to brushing, he yelps and cries until I say "QUITIT." Then he's PERFECT. After his bath and everything, since I had nothing else to do for a while, I just danced with him. XD Held him and danced.

Yeah, everyone else in the salon was rather baffled. I got about four "Uhhhh, wtf are you DOING"s and a "Why are you dancing with a Papillon?" XD

I had to put Lexus away to prep for my next dog...a nasty agressive Lab with crazy owners. Suckage. At the VERY LAST MINUTE, they called and declared they are very sorry but they must cancel their appointment today. I was all "YESSSSS-I mean, uhh, sorry to hear that." XD!!!!

So Lexus came back out and we danced for a while longer. That little dog can jive! XD I happily got tipped for that, too...his mom knows he can be naughty for his feet and worried about it, since apparently the last few times someone else has done him and declared he's actually BITTEN them. I was shocked, and told her that he's never bitten me, he's perfect!!! I adore him!!!

This is why Lexus's mom tips me and nobody else. XD!!!!! Hot fuckin' damn!!!

Over lunch, I meandered the store and got to pet/play with cute puppies and a kitten. Yay!

Arrived back in the salon once my break was over to find one last dog had been scheduled with me: my very favourite Pit Bull, Raven!!!! 8D!!! I keep trying to get her mom to schedule with me specifically, she never does, but somehow I always get lucky and get to work on her anyways. SCORE!!!! Not only is she awesome and perfect for everything, she's easy as HELL to make look good! Short-coated black dogs are fuckin' awesome...I've learned that if I use (ironically) the whitening shampoo on them, they get this amazing raven's-wing sheen to their coat. FUCKYEAH.

I had to leave before Raven's mom could come get her...but I'm pretty sure there'll be a tip with a note of thanks stapled to it when I get to work tomorrow morning. :D

Continueing my DAY OF AWESOME, Gweeg (the AWESOME) just called, and sang me the meow mix song. XD It ALWAYS makes me smile!!!!

Today is SO my day. :D I'm almost eager to see what else good can happen since it's only like 3:30 in the afternoon!

Oct. 25th, 2008

poneh- champing at the bit

TIRED.

So I get to work and find Dawn, wide-eyed and a little shook up, and she says "YOUR MIN PINS ARE HERE. The female BITES."

Turns out they BOTH bite like motherfuckers and the female is a fucking psycho. My manager had to wash her, I couldn't touch her without getting bit. The male was okay but kennel agressive, had to snag him with a noose and try to grab him before he could bite. GODDAMN.

I know of one...ONE nice Miniature Pinscer. She's a lovely creature, perfect in every way. All others I've met? I WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY EXIST. With how savagely vicious the female that was in today was? I'm shocked she's ALIVE. That dog is DANGEROUS. We couldn't even get her collar on, when her owners came we had to have them come into the back and put it on because she kept biting us.

Fucker BIT HER OWNERS, too.

The rest of the dogs were not very memorable, except for a matted Shih Tzu. I can't de-mat a dog, I'm a bather, that's a groomer's thang. The owner insisted we not shave out the mats, and since I can't BRUSH them out, she went home just as matted as when she arrived. Poor dog, she's hurting and we can't do anything about it. Fortunately she's a regular and her usual groomer will verbally bitchslap the owners the next time they come in.

Speaking of matting, my beautygirl Yvaine had a real shocker of a mat right on her butt today. D8 I was combing her out, watching some TV, and then she squealed. I'd snagged a mat. I gave it a tug, and she SCREAMED. It was a big one, I had to scruff her and hold her down to get it out. Her whole coat is blowing and damnit, the undercoat just tangled the shit out of her arse. Poor baby...she got lots of cuddling and apologetic massages and petting to make up for it.

And SHE LIKES GREENIES!!! 8D!!! I got some free sample packages of Feline Greenies...gave some to Shadow and Yvaine, and they were BOTH happy to crunch 'em down. Tracked down Percy later so he wouldn't be left out. Now all that I need to do is wait and see if their litter boxes turn NASTY...someone told me the dog greenies fucks up their dog's digestive system, I hope it won't screw with the cats.

BUT STILL. She ATE them!!! She never EVER eats treats!!! It is all very exciting to me. XD

...and I just now noticed, my dog smells like Fritos. WTF.

Oct. 17th, 2008

poneh- champing at the bit

So you say your dog has ISSUES...

I nearly forgot to write this. Huh.

Yesterday we had a Lab (OF COURSE IT WAS A LAB. It's ALWAYS a Lab. Okay not always but still) in for her bath. The dog was perfectly sane. The owner was a nutcase. Ergo, the dog acted like a nutcase.

The lady claimed that her dog "hates slippery floors" and she spent about ten minutes coddling, cajoling, and eventually dragging rubber mats over for the dog to walk on so as to avoid the tile. The way she acted, you'd think her dog is some kind of delicate flower, a wilting violet, unaccustomed to the Harsh Reality of Life.

Unable to bear it any more, I finally just grabbed the leash out of the woman's hands (she was so stunned she just let me do it) and I said "COME ON, girlie," and walked off with the dog. The dog, now in the hands of someone who doesn't believe the DOG has an issue with the floor, walked just fine on tiles. No problem.

When the lady came back to pick the dog up, the dog was fine on the tiles...UNTIL THE LADY TOOK THE LEASH.

This wasn't some isolated incident. So many people think their dog has ISSUES when in reality? The dog is JUST FINE. Most of our "abuse cases" are like that...they act scared and timid and Oh So Abused and their owners coddle and cuddle and "ohh poooor baaaby" them all the time. I take 'em, treat them like the perfectly sane dog they are, and with me? They stop acting like an abused critter and start acting like a NORMAL DOG.

It's all in the heads of their owners. THAT is where the dog's issues lie.

Now, to be fair, there ARE dogs with real honest-to-fuck issues. One of my request dogs is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Lady. Her owners told me she was abused, and I BELIEVE THEM. Even when I treat her like any other dog, she remains scared and especially afraid of things near her head...she's a very classic "head shy" dog. No matter who holds her leash, her issues stay the same...meaning they really are HER issues, not her owner's. She's improving, slowly, though.

However, most dogs with "issues" don't HAVE issues. They do what they do because their owners have somehow made the dogs believe that is how they should think or act.

The reason: DOGS DO THINGS TO GET RESULTS OR BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN REWARDED.

The Lab who supposedly hates tile floors? Her owner croons ever so sweetly at her to try and make her walk across the floor. The more the dog refuses, the more the owner croons, and the longer it takes to get the dog ANYWHERE. By cajoling the dog she is REWARDING THE NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR. I don't do that...the dog knew damn quick that I don't reward acting like a twit, and got up and WALKED.

Dogs are not always delicate speshul snowflakes. Sometimes taking the role of the leader is neccessary!

Thus, if you think your dog has an issue, stop and ask yourself how you react when the "issue" comes up. Do you speak sweetly or offer treats or try to reassure them? If so, you are probably making the situation WORSE.

FYI.

Oct. 16th, 2008

poneh- champing at the bit

OH AND.

Nearly forgot.

The other day my manager told me that since I'm pretty goddamn competent with the nail grinding tool (let's face it, it is basically a glorified dremel tool, after all!) I'm now allowed to do nail grinding.

This morning, my manager was all "OMG DO YOU WORK ON THE DAY THAT THE STORE IS HAVING IT'S ANNUAL HALOWEEN PARTY????" To which I replied "Hell if I know, you are closer to the appointment book!" I adore my manager, I can be a smartass and not get in trouble. XD

Turns out I do NOT work that day. She's gonna see if the corporate office will allow her to let me come in for a few extra hours to do a little "nail grinding party thing." :D Right now I can SO use the extra hours. Nobody gets extra hours, either, so I'm really excited.

I hope the corporate office says yes. :3
Yay Dib!

HELLYEAH!!!!

Today at work, my manager comes up to me and says "we have to discuss your annual review." OH GOD. My immediate reaction: "Is it gonna hurt?" She laughs and walks off. I follow.

We are graded from 1 to 5 on every category imagineable. I got no 5's. I also got no 1's, 2's, and like...one or two 3's. The rest were 4's. My manager then reassured me that when they did HER review, she only got like two 5's. Getting a 4 is about the best you can do.

I basically spent half an hour being flattered. There was one awkward moment where my manager was struggling to find a way to say something, clearly afraid she'd offend me, so I took over and finished her thought out loud for her: "I am by nature an unconfident person." This is the ONLY thing holding me back, apparently.

For being kinda awesome, I'M GETTING A RAISE. Like, nearly a DOLLAR MORE AN HOUR. I am THRILLED TO BITS.

Also presently in pain and totally soaked, due to having Deacon the Bounciest St. Bernard Evar to wash today. Nothing says PAIN like a 200 pound dog suddenly squashing you flat on the cement floor!!!! D8

But yes. I'm haaappy!!!!

Oct. 14th, 2008

OMG LASER DOOM

Pet Peeves #003 & #004

Two-parter, here. Each one was inspired by a customer who REALLY pissed me off yesterday.

PET PEEVE #003.

Yes, we in the salon want your buisness. We love having new clients. HOWEVER. Calling us ONE HOUR BEFORE WE CLOSE to get your dog in THAT SAME NIGHT??? What the FUCK, man. Your dog is a total unknown to us...for an "unknown" we like to have at least two or three hours just in case your dog flips the hell out or bites someone.

Giving me shit because I'm reluctant to take on your dog when it means I could GET WRITTEN UP FOR STAYING LATE AND THUS GOING OVER MY ALLOTED HOURS which could, ultimately, RESULT IN ME GETTING FIRED, also possibly having to send your dog home unfinished if your dog is naughty, ALSO having to forego the closing chores which means that the WHOLE ENTIRE SALON could get in trouble if we got a supprise inspection the next morning...giving me shit for my reluctance DOES NOT IMPRESS ME.

I can kindof understand if your dog got, say, SKUNKED. That...kinda qualifies as an emergency. I could understand if your dog accidentally got slathered with, say...car oil. However, raving about your "EMERGENCY" when said emergency is simply that you didn't want to be bothered to make an appointment and forgot to call earlier also does not impress me.

Also your dog (which of course, because I AM FUCKING PATHETIC and cannot apparently say NO, I took in at the last minute) was a total JERKASS and bit me twice. If you dare call and complain that your dog went home with damp feet I WILL HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH.

PET PEEVE #004:

I am a lowly bather. I wash dogs for just a few cents higher than minimum wage. To avoid having to actually give me BENEFITS and shit, my employer will not give me full time hours...I can only work like 34 at MOST per week or I will get fucking FIRED. I am a slave to a much larger national corporation.

The corporation decides the pricing. I do not. I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with prices of dog bathing and haircuts and shit. NOTHING.

Ergo, trying to haggle with me over the cost of your dog's groom? KINDA USELESS. It wastes BOTH our time because, hi, IT ISN'T MY DECISION TO CHARGE YOU WHAT YOU ARE BEING CHARGED. Even if I wanted to adjust the price for you, or give you a deal, I cannot. Moreover, if I COULD, I wouldn't WANT to after being bitched at about how OMG EXPEEENNNNSIVE it is for you to own MULTIPLE SHIH TZUS.

I'm sorry, Shihs have COAT, lots of it. They need regular grooming. YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WHEN YOU BOUGHT ONE. And then, even if you did NOT know that Shihs can cost a small fortune in regular grooming, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT WHEN YOU BOUGHT THE REST OF THEM.

No, we do not give multiple-dog discounts. We do not offer buy one groom, get the rest of them free.

God I hate customers some days.

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